Nature

 

Subjective Activism

 

As a teenager I borrowed an Herbal Medecine Book that made me want to know everything about the plants and their uses.  I was a scattered teen driven in every direction, inclusive of excessive consumption and furthur, scattered through my early twenties in fashion's guise that my vanity could not possess. Which is to say that I was not an active consumer supporting Canadian small business at the time.

 

I returned to the dream of herbal medecine periodically over the years and yet never was in the mindset nor with the appropriate resources to come close enough to realizing the dream.  I approached Herbal Medecine from a memorizing standpoint, as opposed to an understanding stance with purposeful application, therefore never succeeded in actually retaining the information enough to put it to practical use.  I often find people with ailments who I would first like to prescribe herbs to, to aid them in their illnesses or disfunctions, and beyond to supply the appropriate medication free of charge as a health care service for the community.

 

I love activism and particularily environmental movements and do admit that one part of me does want to live the life of selection however did find that they were not in the way of the corporate elite and neither were they affordable. I was left torn to feel under respected or even rejected in some trains of thought on identity.  However lead in another way to find glory in rustic natures as ancient and qualitative so what was there that made me torn?  Could it possible be that it is not just a phase for me but a becomming?  Could it possibly be that I was not lead here by one or another but found it in my own way and had to adapt to this reality and existence with the appropriate flow of time?  How many paper cups later do I realize my waste in continuum; my consumption.

 

I have been diagnosed with four pages of allergens.  The benfit is that now I must find new foods and what I am comming to substitute the allergens with- ironically the typical food stuffs of the average home (if I may say that in my ignorance) or fast food outlets- is exotic oils like walnut or avocado and cereal of the ancient Incan grain Quinoa and beyond to a decadence and a new life expression through the culinary arts.

 

I have grown over the past year at the Peace Ranch where I have shed some of my layers and blissfully feel that I need not have any connection to scorn in any similar fashion as I approach life with laughter and should focus for a moment on a given task instead of attempting many, and feel liberated to get dirty, to work hard on the land and finally to realize my dream of herbal medecine.   By planting a crop in my plot this spring, this will be the origin, the source and will lead me most of the way to my destination.  I am a changed person at the Ranch and I am estatic about the shedding of judgements or fears into a natural life where in the end I could forsee myself growing my own food, not just as an ideal on paper but in reality, a living dream.

 

It is an unballance generally of longing to become unto my dreams: so passionate and exuberant in the moment of recollection that the dream is and exists as a possibility, and the realization in the memory that in my designs I invest unto them each time the circle turns, as occassionally I exist in a void of self unaware of what I am or wanting to be.

 

I have been ill at times and have needed my codependence to guide me, without a thought or a decisive choice, following the flow, incapable of analytical thought, however I think now that perhaps I could have stood up, to whatever consequence, strong and uninjured with the forces falling away from my being, that were never really there, but whoally created by me. What if I were to identify my creations of perspectives that I appoint to the forces in my lives and agknowledge that they have been a constant for a lifetime, in some cases, and others are my own judgments of my view of people in particular encounterings, what I would assume the conflict could be without considering compassion or experience.  What if it were more nurturing and accepting and less to consider as a negative.  In that sense, my fear of noticing the lack of nature in the corporate elite, which itself is changing, could be my own conflict of rustic over technic and became a barricade for me in my thoughts on change.  I have thought of three relations and my reality with them and thought that I could allow three to merge into one and then through the union I could rise within and become that which I intended to be all along, however guided through other interests until the final hour-Oh! What I as a child would have loved is a basket to market and a cape or a shawl and beyond unto the fact that they were made by me!

 

The Peace Ranch has given me the serenity to think freely and consider my place in this world and has brought me closer to my dreams of herbal medecine.  I long to stay in this place and don't want to be swayed from this place of existence.  Thanks be to the Ranch!

Love Shannon